One of the emotional struggles that accompanies affairs concerns the issue of bonding. Bonding is often a healthy phenomena, yet when bonding occurs in affairs, it often produces tragic results. Among the results of that bonding is that those involved in the affair often feel emotionally torn and confused. Part of what causes this concerns the bonding that occurs with acts of intimacy. Such acts also begin a bonding process which unites the parties emotionally, physically and spiritually. When such bonding occurs within a marriage, it helps pull the two parties together. When such bonding occurs outside of marriage, those involved will often feel the ‘tug’ of those bonds.
Although drugs, alcohol and extreme sex can temporarily mask or overide the emotional pull associated with those bonds, they still exist. Some people are more sensitive to the bonding than others. The bonding is part of what makes those involved in affairs feel like they are going ‘crazy’. The bonding still exists long after things are cleaned up and people have gone on their seperate ways. The longer the affair, the stronger the bonding. Sexual fertility cult groups have long known the power of the bonding and often used that power in selling their services and creating a loyal customer base. In ancient times, the temple prostitutes were able to keep steady streams of patrons/worshippers coming to the temple largely due to the strength of the bonding. Although the ‘sexual revolution’ advocated freedom, the licentious free love also created many bonds and associated emotional bondage for those who involved.
Emotional bondage is a phenomena involved in affairs. Those involved in affairs may excuse them by saying “no one was hurt”, or “it was between consenting adults”. Although bonding is not seen, those who struggle through it know that it is real and that is powerful. It is not by chance that the term bondage has the same root word as bonding. This phenomena needs to be dealt with in overcoming the affair. Such bonding between a lover and a spouse can be broken, through time and commitment.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
