I find reading through modern terminology for old behaviors these days entertaining. Although it’s said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, today’s post-modern culture teaches new terms for old tricks.
It’s a way way of changing your thinking and values. The logic is that when you change how you talk about a behavior, it changes how you think about it.
The new words are confusing. Post-modern language has ways of distorting and twisting language around so that you can’t recognize it any more. The other day I heard the term “transitioning to non-ethical-monogamy“.
I had to read the term several times for it to sink in. This is the new way of saying someone is trying out cheating.
What makes matters worse, I came across the term on a site claiming to have a readership in the million plus range. That’s a significant number of people exposed to ways of bending terms to where you can recognize what’s going on. Using such terms turns discussions about infidelity into something else.
It turns into whether the infidelity was ethical or not. It could also turn into whether the transition is temporary or permanent. Such twisted language makes it harder to communicate rather than easier.
The news terms remove any guilt or stigmas associated with cheating. The modern terms are purposely designed to change conversations. I find the new terms clunky and bothersome.
It’s easier asking “Are you cheating?” Using simple terms also cuts through the crap.
Can you see yourself confronting your husband in the midst of your anger saying “Were you transitioning to non-ethical monogamy? You know how I detest non-ethical monogamy.”
The new terminology turns a disloyal cheater into a victim who’s being harassed for exploring sexual options and finding a new identity.
The post-modern talk leaves you wondering “What just happened?” It takes the sin out of sinful choices and the guilt out of adultery. It hides the cheating behind a wall of words and meanings.
Recovering from the affair requires honesty about what happened including using language that cuts through the post-modern crap.
If you’re looking for a place to talk about affairs in a way that doesn’t get lost in jargon or foggy words, consider joining the membership site at Restored Lifestyle. There you’ll find forums and articles that slice through the words cheaters hide behind.
I call adultery and cheating what it is. You won’t find me coddling cheaters with questions about whether they are ‘experimenting with non-ethical polygamous options’.
If you want any hope of turning your marriage around, you need to use clear and direct language in confronting the issues.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
