Affairs within Blended Families

When a member of your extended family cheats, it is often a hard issue to deal with. First, there is the whole matter of “HOW” you found out about the cheating. Did someone let you in on a secret, or was it brought up in conversation by the cheater or the resolute spouse? Often the ‘how’ determines what options we have in dealing with the situation. When the affair consists of rumor and accusation, then our only option is find out the truth.

Recently, I had to deal with a situation where a family member confided in me about another family member having an affair. It was a tough situation in terms of whose confidence should I honor? Families can be sensitive areas, especially blended families. Dealing with an issue like an affair in blended families can often bust old wounds and loyalty issues wide open. In such cases, “Approach with caution”. You will need to weigh out each action and its possible ramifications. In weighing things out, you will have to be honest with yourself about your values and priorities. I know first hand how trapped it feels to be caught in a ‘double-bind’ knowing about an affair going on but not having the liberty to discuss it openly.

I would love to give you a skeleton key that works in every such family situation, but there is none with blended families. The normal rules do not apply. In such situations, you will need to do some serious soul searching to find the answers where you can live with yourself and be true to your values.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah

You may want to purchase my e-book, “Why Wasn’t I Enough?” available at Amazon Kindle, where I address the most frequently asked questions about affairs.