Your heart and your mind might be screaming these sentiments because of an affair that rocked your marriage recently. True enough, you have to let out your sentiments, your rage, and your anger, instead of letting them become bottled up and unexpressed. But after your bout of expression, stop for awhile and think about the situation. Forgiveness sounds crazy and illogical. Since forgiveness involves emotions, it does not always follow the same rules as logic and rational thinking.
There is a funny quip about forgiveness, saying “forgive your enemies but remember their names.” It might be a little funny but it also makes sense. This is especially true for infidelity. You need to forgive, yet not turn a blind eye to the fact that it happened. Ignoring what happened is NOT forgiveness. The affair occurred, there’s no mistaking it. You can’t change the past, and you can’t erase it from your memory. But you can be free from the clutches of bitterness and rage. Such negative emotions can only lead you on a downward spiral and depression. Forgiveness is about letting go of the desire for revenge, it is not about approving what was done.
Forgiving your spouse is a way to begin the healing of the relationship. Let go of revenge. Forgiveness does not erase everything. It does begin releasing emotions that are important for the healing process.
Once you begin forgiving them, then begin forgiving yourself. As you do, you’ll find out that the person who will benefit most from such forgiveness is yourself. Freeing yourself is one reason for forgiveness, another would be your love for your spouse. Although the affair happened, the love you harbor for each other are still there and with forgiveness, you can start anew.
