Are You Tempted to Snoop Through Your Spouse’s Phone? Here’s What You Need to Know.
When I came across the headline “Wife considers snooping through husband’s phone over suspicious text,” I couldn’t help but wonder why this was making news. The way it was portrayed, it seemed like snooping was an agonizing decision.
While snooping through someone’s phone is against federal law, it poses a dilemma for married individuals. Should the law have more authority in your marriage than you do?
In my opinion, marriage is a commitment to each other, a pledge of trust and loyalty. Sadly, in today’s world, many treat marriage as a part-time partnership or a contractual arrangement. It is as if you take out a time-limited lease on your spouse. When the lease is up, you can either buy the one you’ve been driving or trade them in for a newer model.
Marriage is also seen as not as important as federal dictates in some marriages, which is tragic.
I refer to this state of affairs as a “part-time partnership” because nowadays, we’re made to feel guilty for invading our spouse’s privacy, even if we have legitimate reasons to do so. It’s one thing to snoop without cause, but it’s completely different when there are valid suspicions. It is also important to realize your marriage relationship is different than other relationships.
It’s important to recognize that going through your spouse’s phone violates trust and has the potential to damage your relationship. Whether you’re the one snooping or the one hiding, crossing boundaries erodes trust and comes with consequences, even with your spouse.
In my mind, it’s absurd for a spouse to demand privacy while engaging in questionable behavior. When you are cheating, you loose the right to make such a demand for secrecy. This newfound obsession with secrecy impedes intimacy and commitment, which are crucial for a healthy marriage.
Let me be clear: I believe privacy, whether financial or concerning phone usage, is conditional. When those conditions are violated or appear to be violated, expectations of privacy should be relinquished, especially in the unique and sacred bond of marriage.
During a crisis, expecting complete privacy is unrealistic. This includes situations involving medical information or phone activity. While the law protects medical privacy, when your spouse’s life is at stake, you should have access to that information.
Sadly, many spouses hide affairs and questionable relationships or activities behind the veil of privacy. If these issues were openly discussed, a plan could have been devised.
If you want to avoid your spouse going through your phone, there are steps you can take. Communicate with them and refrain from engaging in anything that may seem suspicious.
Consider how your actions may appear to your spouse, not just from your own standpoint. Saying “It’s not what it looks like” is an acknowledgment that the situation is questionable.
If something seems questionable, it’s best to either abstain from it or discuss it with your spouse.
If you find yourself tormented by the urge to snoop through your spouse’s phone, it’s a clear sign that trust issues are present. Similarly, if you have already gone through your spouse’s phone, trust issues are evident. Either way, the anxiety surrounding snooping is a warning sign that trust is lacking in your marriage.
In my video, ‘How Can I Trust You Again?’, I address these concerns and provide ways to rebuild trust in your marriage. Don’t miss out – click and download a copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
