When someone who is physically attractive approaches you with smooth words and expresses an interest, can you resist? Although you might be immune to them, your spouse may not. They may genuinely be interested in you, or it could be that they are setting you up. It is not beyond scam artists and blackmailers to seek out potential victims. Although cheaters often say that they are a victim, in some cases they are. A willing and cooperative victim, yet still a victim. It is hard to feel sorry for them, since they allowed the smooth words to start their work and wanted things to go further. When the victim is enticed, make no mistake, the cheater is wanting more than just talk. The cheater often thinks that they are smarter than the seducer and believes that they can take advantage of the situation. Physical attractiveness has a way of making situations happen that otherwise would not have happened.
Those smooth words are dangerous. They are a threat to you and your spouse. Learning how to resist the smooth words is one big way you can begin protecting your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
8 Responses
BINGO!Further examination of the situation seems to support that the OW is actually according to a psych my husband discussed her with …conclude..but without having actually seen her …just from the stories accounting of her behavior as my husband experienced her over the 14year adultery and then after dday her behavior with the children …in manipulation of them and circumstances that she has all the ear marks of a sociopath.
Also I just found out that in addition to seeing a therapist long before meeting my husband when she was 28 she had been also taking depression meds….all the time…all throughout her life …up to and including today .
The child born with epilepsy …I wonder if her hyper-sexuality that she spoke of in her email …and this child’s condition both with the absence seizures She also said she had had eating disorders
I wonder if taking meds during pregnancy would bring about this boys condition.
I think your post speaks of the way my husband got more and more open for this kind of offer. She definitely had an agenda….all to gain attachment for a lifetime of support.
Zaza,
It sounds like you are connecting the dots even more. It is not surprising that someone develop hypersexuality under the conditions that you mentioned. In some cases, they also develop the smooth talking ways in order to ‘hook’ their next victim. Most men are too ‘dumb’ to realize that when an attractive woman comes on to you too strong that there is a hidden agenda.
Yes it is a terrible mess we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives….including my children who will always have knowledge of the children ‘out there’ even when the adults are long gone. This kind of crime touches so many innocents …it is one of the most vile things that seems to be growing …
I do not know if we will ever see a way to regulate this by law in our life time ….too many industries make a ton of money through encouraging infidelity ….
Jesus had it right ….those who love evil will increase more and more ….our hope is in HIM and the Kingdom of GOD which is IN you …and NOT OF this world .
The world is NOT HIS KINGDOM location if what I have studied in scripture is correct . Actually HE told us that THIS location is also known as ‘beneath’…..hmmm…check this out …what does GOD tell us is the ‘beneath”??
“Most men are too ‘dumb’ to realize that when an attractive woman comes on to you too strong that there is a hidden agenda.”
Why is this? Case in point: sports bars with scantily clad waitresses. It appears so obvious to me the waitresses are using their bodies to get a bigger tip from the ‘dumb’ male customers, but for some reason the men never seem to be offended by the ‘assault to their intelligence’. They will acknowledge it is happening IF the subject is broached, but they say they’re ok with it. Is this true or are they too embarrassed to admit they’re being played for suckers? My H has finally come to realize the game that is being played and is sympathetic of my feelings. He recognizes that I find it insulting and disrespectful to have to witness this spectacle and that I’m really tired of having my food served along with an eyeball of boobs. I like sports and I enjoy watching the game on the big screen with our friends but it’s gotten to the point that the only sports bar we frequent is Buffalo Wild Wings because we aren’t subjected to near-naked body parts . JMHO
blueskyabove,
I wish I an authoritative answer to your question. My best guess is that the men are entertaining the fantasy that the woman really is interested in them. It boosts their ego and at that moment, the ego boost is more ‘real’ to them than reality.
I think that they enjoy this kind of atmosphere because for some it reinforces that SOME women are a ‘type’ that they are permitted to think of as ‘objects’ of ‘art’ or ‘sex’ …it promotes a categorizing of women in a way that seems to allow sexualization’ of the gender .
Does it tend to justify this …as your cultural attitude post pointed out ….In some cultures there is the idea of the wife as the ‘madonna’ at home …mother of children …set on a pinnacle which is the public ‘face’ of the man …then there is the ‘whore’ role that the OW plays who may also enjoy that fantasy …she is held up as super sexual when in truth the wife is the one that various polls have found are more sexually satisfied ….if polls can be trusted….[hmmm]
I think the point is that within a marriage where the man does not feel the need to play the role of the fantasy ‘Jame Bond’ or the ‘playboy ‘ with women outside his marriage and devotes all kinds of what GOD advises husbands to regard their wives ..not as a fantasy but a wonderful deep well of diverse complex womanhood …Both will discover over the years that all of the fantasy mates in the world cannot compare.
Media has fed the idea that the excitement and exotic are desirable and even ‘needed’…just can’t help but remember what Joanne Woodwards husband said about their marriage ” Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?”
Paul Newman must have discovered the truths of the ‘treat’ that a man’s wife is designed to be when loved as Jesus Christ loved the Church and GAVE HIMSELF for her.
I think blueskyabove has a truly ‘modern man’ in that he seems to not only understand but has made an effort to empathize and understand not only the way his wife feels but how depreciating it is for a man to lay down his manhood drooling over someone NOT HIS OWN WIFE …but in truth ..a woman who is not married BELONGS to GOD …[know ye not ye are the temple of the holy spirit] and she is either someone elses wife or is GOING to be
So men who oogle women are really not thinking about this [of course!] but it is really humiliating all concerned….something I did not realize about this situation until listening to a teaching by Norm Wakefield but it made sense..I was raised like many to think being ‘appreciated’ for my appearance or body was the same as being desired….but I realized that it is NOT a COMPLIMENT!
In the entertainment world women are led to accept and find it necessary to dress provocative often time because it is part of the job….but it is demeaning ….our culture is not reaching to the younger and younger …ever walk through the children’s clothing section of a dept store? BRAS for little girls??? REALLY!
Zaza,
Your comments hit on many items, the objectification of women, the roles of wives in various cultures, wandering eyes of men, the turning of young girls into sex objects, etc. Each of these are factors in the problem of affairs world wide. They are many tentacles of a really nasty beast that has at its heart selfishness.
Yes and as we see the world political affairs are taking advantage of the fragmented society we now have …so many with a cluelessness of what truths regarding gender, marriage and family abound….just as the curriculum has planned …With no compass …any direction will do …toward destruction!
Frightfully demonstrated ….from the one on one with a cold unfeeling spouse to the mob rule in various regimes gone mad across the globe,
Carnal man run by his flesh is the “BEAST”…..hmmmm.