In previous posts, I addressed multi-tasking and its relationship to affairs. Given the prevalence of multitasking, the topic and relationship need further attention.
You may even be one of those who said to yourself “Jeff, I have a business to run. I have to do several projects at once. It’s imperative I stay competitive. You just don’t understand”.
I’ll be the first to admit that I likely don’t understand your business. What I do understand is how your brain works. Multi-tasking lowers your brain functioning.
The wiring of brains is not designed for doing multiple tasks at the same time. Brain researchers, like Harold Pashler, have looked into ‘Dual Task Interference’ (e.g. multitasking) and made some discoveries.
What they discovered is that your brain can only do one task at a time. You can only really think about one thing at a time, even though your ego says you can do more than one thing.
What happens is that your attention shifts from one task to another, but it doesn’t mean that you are actually doing two things at once. It may feel like you’re multitasking but in reality, your brain is just rapidly switching between tasks. The result? Performance suffers in both tasks.
This means all the talk about loving two people at the same time is ‘hogwash’. You can only focus on one at a time. This is just the simple reality behind the biological wiring of neurons.
This means that the old Oak Ridge Boys song about how trying to love two women is like a ball and chain is accurate on many levels. The Oak Ridge Boys were right. You may switch from one to the other quickly, but your mind only allows one at a time.
Not only does your mind focus on one woman at a time, the other becomes a dragging influence on the speed at which your brain functions. Trying to do both, literally slows you down.
I also find the confining quality of the ball and chain accurate as well. Each relationship has a trapping quality to it. You are restrained by the demands of each.
When it comes to affairs, it means that you can only focus on one relationship at a time. Cheaters thinking they can juggle two lovers at once are fooling themselves.
In the cheater’s mind, there’s constant switching from one lover to the other, or one task to another. Thinking you can love two people at once is fooling yourself.
When you’re multitasking relationships you may think you’re special. You falsely assume you have a ‘special ability when it comes to multitasking.
The reality is your mind can’t handle it. Your body may handle it for a while, but eventually the truth will come out that your body can’t handle two relationships at once either.
The juggling of multitasking catches up with you. Rather than your mind and body collapse from exhaustion, you can do something about it.
One thing you can do is complete the “Affair Recovery Workshop” and start healing your marriage. That other relationship will end up hurting you in the long run.
Download the workshop and start repairing your marriage now. You were never designed for two or more lovers, and neither was your spouse.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
