Being an amateur historian, there’s a part of me that marks annual and significant historic events. When those important dates occur, I feel their emotional pull, whether it be happy, sad or reflective. I’ve even drug my family to historic sites like Goliad, Notre Dame, and Scone so that we could be there for important anniversary dates. Being at such sites on anniversaries makes it better.
Affair Anniversary Reactions also impact your marriage. Even though when affair happened years ago, the impact of their emotional tremor continues to resonate. They are always resonating. You just feel them stronger on the anniversary dates.
Anyone successful in the recovery community knows the power of anniversary reactions and the dangers they bring with them.
I know that if I don’t take steps to manage the anniversary, then it will bring more pain and suffering than joy.
You and your spouse will both feel something on affair anniversaries. When D-Day (discovery day) and the day the affair ended come around when the lover’s birthday rolls around and other key events. There may be other days as well, depending on what all happened during the affair. Those annual cycles occur naturally. What’s not natural are your reactions to them.
When the anniversary still triggers crying spells, or sleeplessness or agitation, it should tell you something. One the things your body is telling you is that there is something about the affair that is not over. Although your spouse may dismiss what you’re experiencing as ‘overreacting’ or you’re being overly dramatic about something that’s been put behind, I assure you there’s something to it.
Your emotions are real things. They are triggered by something going on in your heart or your head. You are not just ‘imagining’ things. Dismissing your reactions only leads to a greater disconnection between you and your emotions.
Those anniversary reactions often reveal areas still needing healing. Wounds that never heal need attention too. They linger because they’re deep. The anniversary reaction is your body’s way of bringing its unmet needs to your attention.
Many of such reactions have their roots in inadequate responses to relapse. Relapse Prevention is not only about keeping affairs from happening again, its’ also about breaking the cycle of affairs and your reactions to them.
If you’re wrestling with affair anniversary reactions, you need “Dealing With Affair Relapse“. The patterns and cycles you break, help finally close the door on those old affairs.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
