Affairs always bring consequences into your life. Some of them may be pleasant, yet most will be uncomfortable if not painful. With affairs, you have to accept the law of ’cause and effect’. There are always consequences to affairs.
No amount of positive vibes, reframing or justification removes these consequences. Although the cheater tells themselves and others that the affair was ‘just between adults’, or that ‘it only involved them and the lover’, the consequences impact more people than them and the lover. Consequences always impact more people than those originally involved.
Affairs always impact more people than originally involved. There will be mental consequences.
These include memory problems, cognitive slips, long term lying. There are some situations where the mental consequences include breakdowns and breaks.
There will be emotional consequences. Your feelings and the feelings of the cheater will not be the same after the affair.
The bonds that held the two of you together are changed. In some rare cases, the bonds are stronger, yet in the majority of cases, the bonding is weakened by the affair. With the weakening of the bonds often comes reduced emotional self-control and self-control.
There will also be spiritual consequences in terms of feelings of alienation. There may also be guilt.
The cheater may deny being guilty about anything. Denial won’t stop the guilt. The guilt will still be there, whether they connect it with the affair or not.
A common way that cheaters deal with the guilt is by displacing it with denial or blaming others for the affair. They find someone or something to blame the affair on.
They want all the enjoyment of the affair without the consequences of it.
These consequences are not about God punishing them, this is plain old ‘Cause and Effect’. Cause and effect often starts a series of events which is often viewed as ‘punishment’.
Technically, ‘punishment’ is related to the formal sentencing after being found ‘guilty’ of a crime. Punishment isn’t the same as consequences or the effects of an affair.
Punishment deals with wrong doing, not the consequences of poor choices. Those consequences are non-negotiable.
The cheater may find ways of avoiding punishment, but they can’t avoid consequences.
The consequences are long lasting. The consequences of an affair continue long after the cheaters are dead and gone. Future generations will face the consequences of the cheater’s actions.
Consequences don’t end when cheaters die. Death only changes who deals with the consequences.
You can take steps to change the effect and lessen that bad part. Find out where to begin with the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop‘. You’ll know how and where to begin the healing.
You’ll also discover ways of softening the consequences. There’s no way of avoiding them, only dealing with them.
Best Regards,
Jeff
