The other week, one of my sons came over. During his visit we discussed life in terms of complications and simplifications when it comes to relationships.
In dealing with some issues, I pointed out “Life’s not that simple!” His viewpoint was “You’re making it too complicated. It really is simple.”
After some discussion, his comments slowed me down and had me re-examining some areas where I’ve complicated things that needed simple solutions.
The two funny things about complicating my life is that I’m good at it and that I defend my complications as ‘necessary’.
Things also get complicated when I don’t have clarity in my choices. A complicated mind only feels home when its surrounded by complications. In my own life, I recognized how I complicated situations with artificial choices and outcomes.
I thought about our conversation on reading a number of people who describe their relationship status as “it’s complicated.” Those comments leave me wondering if it really has to be complicated or have they made it that way.
If my son was talking to them, he’d point out the ways they are making their lives complicated. In his mind, it’s simple, you stay with the person you married. You made promises and you need to keep them.
Affairs are one of the things that complicates your life. You may want it simple, but an affair removes that option. What would’ve been simple solutions suddenly become complicated ones.
One of the things that adds complications are too many emotions. When you let emotions dominate your life, things get complicated fast. Too many emotions lead to either moving too fast or too slow.
Even when you make choices, with too many emotions, you second guess any decision. You wonder if you did the right thing or the right way or the right time, etc.
Another complicating thing is thinking too much. When you try thinking your way through emotional situations, you cut yourself off from some important things.
There are some simple answers and solutions out there. Those simple answers often step on others toes when you try pleasing too many people or pleasing the wrong people.
If your marriage and life is getting too complicated, you need a return to simplicity. In the “30 Days to a Better Marriage” program, you can learn some daily habits that improve your marriage and communication.
One way of making things simpler is removing what’s complicated. The program guides you in taking you back to the simple things and the basics of your marriage relationship.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
