Shame often has a paralyzing effect on people. Since affairs have a load of shame with them, they often have the impact of paralyzing you from talking about it. You may find yourself hurting, yet feel stuck and unable to talk about what is really hurting you.
The shame keeps you from talking about the hurt, the pain and your struggles. When you can’t talk, it leaves all the pain inside festering. You suffer in your own silence.
Those around you often don’t understand since you have not told them the true nature of what you are struggling with.
The way out of the shame is through it. You will need to confront your fears and shame. Yes, the stain of the affair may touch your marriage and your family. Holding in your pain will not lessen it or make it go away.
Talking about it to the right person, including yourself will help. You may need to get to the point where it is more important for you to get help than to carry the shame.
Rather than let your shame turn into your prison, get the help you need. Five years from now, the shame will likely be forgotten, but the hurt will not be.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey
