A few days ago, in one of my posts on “Java with Jeff” at the Restored Lifestyle site, I addressed the issue of those who consider infidelity impossible to forgive. My inspiration for the post was the release of a poll addressing the topic in England.
The poll was among those professing Christian values. The poll findings surprised me that so many considered infidelity unforgiveable in a population that places a high value on forgiveness.
The poll found that 23% of the respondents considered infidelity ‘impossible to forgive’. This is about 1/4 of the 2,000 plus respondents.
Although I’ve often encountered spouses with this mindset, I didn’t have the bird’s eye view of what percentage of people feel that way.
When you consider infidelity ‘impossible to forgive’ it limits your options. It limits the ability of your marriage to recover from what happened. What you tell yourself about forgiveness shapes your options and programs your mind.
It also puts the cheater into a position of hopelessness. In recovering from an affair, removing hope lessens motivation for working things out.
The moment you put the label ‘impossible’ on infidelity, your mind and heart lock up. At that moment, barriers are erected preventing the two of you from reconnecting.
I considered the ramifications of the poll. One ramification is that some people don’t know how to forgive infidelity. If you don’t know how to do it, then forgiving would be impossible.
It could be you’re not ready to forgive. Not being ready to forgive has its own set of problems. When you’re not ready, there’s still hope for your relationship.
If forgiveness is an issue that has you facing a roadblock or confronting the unpleasant, or the stepping into the unknown, there’s hope. In the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the walls, and Remove the roadblocks“, you can learn how to forgive.
You no longer have to guess at how to do it, or throw a positive mental attitude at the problems. You can instead know what’s involved in letting go of the offense. There’s a huge difference between removing offenses and throwing positive mental attitude remarks at a painful situation.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
