An email from a reader challenged me with the question “Why is she choosing to stay?” There are times when soul searching questions like these must be considered.
In affair situations, “Why you choose to stay” is an important consideration. At any given time, there are reasons for leaving along with reasons for staying. You feel the pull of those questions on a daily basis.
I view the reasons for staying as more important than the reasons for leaving. At any given moment, you can generate a list of reasons to leave. Finding reasons for staying requires greater effort.
Even when you don’t consciously focus on these considerations, in the back of your mind, they continuing echoing in search of a satisfying answer.
You may have even tried blocking them out, which works until someone asks those questions out loud. At those moments, they come back.
You may have a snappy, canned answer for those situations, but when you’re alone, you have to produce a real answer.
It’s at those times, you find how strong your marriage vows really are. You find out what part of your marriage was ‘talk’ and what part was ‘commitment’ or ‘covenant’.
After you answer the question about why you stay, then you have to consider what you’re going to do about your marriage.
If you’re in that situation, the Affair Recovery Workshop guides you in addressing key areas in transforming your marriage.
Included are sections on family patterns, communication, fostering intimacy, handling conflicts, roles in your marriage along with what not to do. Giving your marriage a makeover after an affair is critical.
Consider what you’re doing in changing your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
