Back when I was a teenager, my youth pastor often repeated the mantra “Sin always takes you further than you intended to go.” Over the years, I’ve seen evidence of what he was telling me.
My own variation is that “Infidelity always takes you deeper into sex than you intended to go.” I’ve seen the extremes it takes people to. The infidelity takes control and drives you beyond where you intended, it also takes you deeper down a dark hole than you imagined.
When I hear that “It went further than I ever intended”, I understand what’s being communicated. It illustrates how infidelity takes you a long way from home.
My statement sounds extreme, yet I’ve seen it proven time and again. I was reminded of this on reading the story of the porn star formerly known as Jenni Lee. Although she was an attractive young woman, her life didn’t turn out so glamorous.
A film crew from BBC found her living in the storm sewers under Las Vegas. This is a far cry from her stated goal of being a fashion model when she retired from the porn business. Sex took her further than she intended to go. It also literally took her down into a dark place.
One of the intentions of the porn industry is that of weakening marriages and defying values. They intentionally mock those who remain monogamous. Like Hollywood, they use attractive people in undermining values and sexual relations.
Along the way, they also make infidelity look fashionable and fun. The producers know what they are doing in using attractive people to lure people into their worldview. Although their films should include a warning , they don’t warn you about how porn will take you further than you intended to go along with taking you down into a dark place.
Although porn hasn’t been proven to cause infidelity, it’s certainly a gateway drug into the world of infidelity. Rather than falling for the fantasies they sell, it’s more instructive to look at the real life outcomes of those in that industry.
The life of Jenni Lee illustrates a life of extremes. Affairs always take you further than you intended to go.
Then there’s the question of ‘how far did you intend for it to go anyway?’ The cheater intended testing limits to a particular point. They knew they were intentionally stepping outside of the boundaries. What they didn’t intend was where it took them.
When an affair happens to your marriage, the time to take action is now. The effects need attention. Ignoring them won’t make them lessen or go away with time.
This is where the video on Overcoming Affair Trauma will help you move past the effects of what happened. Both of you need healing after what happened.
What you consider recovery may only be a brief pause in a downward spiral. You can take action that insures that things change rather than the affair activity only being put on pause.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
