One of the truisms that has helped me over the years of going through research is “consider the source“. As simple as it sounds, it helps making sense of the studies, surveys and research.
I picked it up from one of my professors at University of Houston-Clear Lake. I can’t recall which one specifically. He emphasized the importance of looking at who books were dedicated to and who an author thanks along with whoever paid for research being done.
Those clues alert me to the source of the findings. Paid research typically has some biases in their findings. This trend continues with books and other publications.
I was reminded of this on reading a new study reported from England. The source was Ashley Madison. In their survey, the researcher found that men are more likely to forgive an affair than women, which they attribute to sex differences.
This is the first time I’ve seen a survey on who is more likely to forgive cheating. I haven’t seen confirmation of that finding in working with couples.
Perhaps the users of Ashley Madison services are more likely to forgive cheating. I already know that their clientele view cheating more favorably than the general population. They also have a higher potential for cheating themselves.
This finding also contradicts passages in Scripture (Proverbs 6:34) which points out the intensity of the rage experienced by husbands who have been cheated on.
This is a glaring example of why it’s so important to consider the source of surveys and research on infidelity topics. When you don’t consider the source, you can be led astray.
I also wonder if the respondents to the survey actually forgive what their spouse did. Have they let go of the hurts that betrayal brought into their lives? Are they really okay with their wife sleeping around with other men?
I think not. I think they don’t fully understand what’s involved with forgiveness and what it requires. In my video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” I address this topic and ways of implementing it.
Rather than overlooking what your spouse did, you can find ways of gaining relief from what happened. You have the choice of carrying around the burden or taking serious steps toward offloading it in a healthy way.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
