Although I haven’t seen any official statistics on the subject, one of the trends I’ve seen in looking at affairs is that there are links between medical conditions and affairs.
As deplorable as it sounds, when you experience a medical condition, be it a disease, accident, or even pregnancy, there are some spouses who give into temptations for an affair. They view your medical condition as an excuse for having an affair.
Not only is this wrong, but it brings up important questions about what you should do when your spouse has an affair relating to a medical condition. The situation will differ depending on the conditions. If you’re dealing with something like pregnancy or chronic health problems, you need to adjust
Rather than provide you with care and remain loyal, they instead indulge themselves. In some cases, you may have even given them a hall pass for doing so. There have been many heartaches started with “I only want you to be happy.”
Telling them you want them to be happy gives them permission to indulge themselves. If they have thought about cheating, this gives them permission.
If instead you had said “I want you to do the right thing!” the outcome would be different.
Affairs under such conditions happen more often than I’d like. Although common sense says stay with your spouse, they’re instead listening to something else whispering in their ears. They view the “wanting themselves to be happy” with renewed vigor, placing it ABOVE your needs.
I put these affairs in the same mental category as taking advantage of the handicapped. Those indulging in such affairs are viewing their needs ahead of their commitment to you. They have lost any sense of self-control.
Affairs due to chronic conditions tend to be long-term affairs.
Another affliction that leads to cheating is pregnancy. Many men and women either go overboard or regress into themselves when pregnant. They can’t handle what’s happening and they want someone else because “you don’t understand me.”
Since my daughter-in-law gave birth to my granddaughters, I have little tolerance for husbands cheating on pregnant wives. I was reminded of the moodiness, yet that makes for a weak excuse for infidelity.
When a reader brought up her being pregnant and her husband cheating on her, the recent events hit a raw nerve with me. I’ve seen it more than once and frankly, I had hoped that men would have become more sympathetic to their pregnant wife’s needs.
A common chorus heard in these situations is “but I have needs”. I realize you have needs. When there are medical conditions, it puts everyone in a bind. At those moments sacrifices are required in order to deal with out-of-the-ordinary circumstances.
If you have an affair because of your spouse’s medical condition, you are placing your needs ABOVE the needs of your spouse. In my opinion, that’s unforgivable since it violates your wedding vows.
These circumstances put each of you in unusual binds. There are no easy ways out of such situations. You either remain committed to your vows and ride out the crisis or you don’t.
The decision is yours. Choose wisely.
Such affairs hurt marriages and undermine their foundations. These kinds of affairs leave serious scars on your souls. This is where the video program Affair Recovery Workshop comes in. It helps move your relationship back toward health. It guides the two of your through the challenging talks and honesty needed as part of recovery from what you’ve gone through.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
