As the days grow longer in the Northern hemisphere, you may find yourself struggling with episodes of depression. When it looks gloomy outside and you are already hurting, it somehow makes the pain worse. You feel bad, and now the darkness seems to say, the world feels bad as well. In order to prevent this from happening, you will need to take in as much daylight as possible. Rather than stay inside and sleep, you need to be active. Whether that means that you go to the gym, work out, or go for a walk, that is up to you, what is important is that you do not let the depression immobilize you. The darker days are a factor. Your body needs sunlight, with fewer light days, you are getting less of it. Although it feels like the world is closing in on you, it may be your body needing more sunlight and activity.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
One Response
Hahaha, I think you are correct …when we moved to an area known for it’s predominantly bad weather just before D DAY I said I would like to find a home that had at least some kind of view….we ended up in a hobbit hole of a location …nice …private …but where the sun literally ‘never shines’ …this additional adjustment made recovery all the more challenging .
The activities I used to be involved in ceased pretty much when I married and had our children and home-schooled…at least the various athletic activities that kept me fit. Being pretty much ‘given’ all of the household work and child raising to do while my husband enjoyed more or less a continued single man lifestyle is something that even tonight we had a ‘discussion ‘ about
He felt that his life did not have any effects upon me and our family . He never stopped to think about what fun I was having …I HAD fun with our children for sure but I often told him that I did not get married to have no social life with him or activities with him. I now wonder why he got married to me since I had a wealth of experience and interests and talents which he wanted to be involved in and once married he exhibited less and less interest or even tolerance for any of them…This coincided with his entering the corporate world where there were many women available
It seems his corporate life effected his desire to grow in the word and to confine his sexual activity to one woman in marriage! It all converged to cause him to tell me one day ‘I am not the man you need me to be’ …sort of at twist upon the old ‘it’s not you it’s me ‘ line! This after our first child was born ..turns out he was getting emotionally involved with a married woman at the time …I put a stop to that with a kind discussion with her about how ‘God’s best man for you is not another woman’s husband’ …I did not know at that time she was married.! She called a week or so later and apologized , told me she was leaving the job and moving away.
I thought the following heart to heart meant something when I discussed this with my husband ..he just became better at lying and keeping his activities secret ..I was involved learning about the way to take care of a baby ….He was involved at home …but his outside life was indeed continuing to be lusting after other women …I felt it …I saw his way of looking and acting around the women who worked for him …I told him it was bothering me and it was drawing the women in to defiling their hearts…he just scoffed at my offering of this info. He liked it and saw nothing wrong with it …they did not discourage him and he did nothing to show that my feelings mattered.
I wish I had known then what I have since learned…My feelings and observations were not wrong ..they were wisdom and it WAS loving to warn him of his behavior being so wrong…instead I felt I was wrong and should be more ‘accepting ‘ and trusting of him ! …..
So
I was willing to live the way I did because I was told he was ‘working ‘ or needed to do something with clients to keep up his income ….I struggled to be ‘thankful ‘ and ‘content’ as I was taught …despite the loneliness that his continual life apart from me and our family kept causing.
He did not have me on his calendar for a date ….more and more the only time we went anywhere as a couple was when his company had a party requiring spouses to attend…which was rarely more than once a year.
He COULD NOT take his adulteress out for the kinds of fun he complained I was not able to join him in which was really HIS having no thought to the way I needed to be informed before the last minute of plans he wanted to make….in addition there were many things he wanted to get involved in that were defiling ….
In short he was selfish. Now even as he says he is ‘sorry’ he is still living in an independent way in our home…I told him that if he is so sorry that he should at least make some effort to make some engaging activities with me as his wife for the sake of demonstrating what a man should be and do in marriage FOR their sake.
HE says he thinks we would all be better off if he dropped dead….
He makes plans to spend time with the children of the OW because as he said if he doesn’t he would not see them at all …AND he justifies this saying he knows he WILL be home and see all of us so there is no need to make any kind of special plans to take me out or to do things with our daughters because he will BE here after work and working out and on the weekends.
This ‘sacrifice’ of his evenings and weekends of many of his interests ,…aka golf ,…his time when he would be with the OW …all ended but he does not make effort to heal or grow our relationship …his weekends are tv …games ….all year long….baseball, football, golf and online solitary! I watch with him but all of the variety of things that could have been part of his and our lives are set aside….
I say just stopping the adultery is not all there is to it …but he is simply too self involved to care about doing any of the things that would help heal our relationship or create more good time memories for us as a couple
I set aside all outside activities when I thought he was working so hard so that I would be AVAILABLE for him should he have any time for us ..I did not want him to complain he had to cheat because I was not available…as some men do …but with that excuse off the table …he still sees no obligation to love his wife or nurture our relationship…..No desire to be known as a ‘couple’
His OW could not go out either but he made sure he went to her place , had a glass of wine , and unwound …had sex ..shower before coming home…..when he got home …there was no thought to relating to me at all …no romancing …no unwinding …
His selfish life is still going on without the adultery …just self absorbed in his misery …so sorry but not sorry enough to care about doing for anyone else….just wants to make sure those children are ok….as far as taking time and interest in learning what he can do for me or our daughters…he sees no point in learning …
I guess I need to get more active…..but I feel I am limited more now by my situation and age…..sorry …just venting tonight I guess…..sigh.