When it comes to making it through an affair, you need a good support system. Yes, you can make it without one, yet that makes the whole experience tougher, or as people down here say “a tough row to hoe”. Since your support system is often a type of life line, you need one that is dependable. Many friends and family are nice and comforting, but they may not be dependable. It is also hard finding people that are willing to tell you the truth, since being ‘liked’ is important to so many people. When your support system focuses on being liked, they will tell you what you want to hear, instead of what you need to hear.
The support system will also only be able to take you as far as they have been down the road of healing and recovery. They may be supportive, yet when the going gets tough, you need those who have ‘been there’ as part of your support system. You will have blind spots. You need people who can point those out. You also need nurturing and encouragement rather than platitudes. When you are going through recovery from an affair, statements like “It’s going to be all right” or “things are going to get better” often come across as empty and shallow when you are in the depths of pain and loneliness. You need those who will tell you, “That hurts. It will be hurting for quite a while” or ” I know it is scary having all this happen.”
Surrounding yourself with a healthy support system does make a difference.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
