In my video on overcoming Affair Relapse, one of the issues addressed is that of risk factors. Whether you like it or not, risk factors are a part of relationships and life.
Going on with your daily activities in your marriage without an awareness of the risk factors for affairs or sexual addiction is akin to playing Russian roulette. Without realizing it, you are exposing you or your spouse to dangers in the name of fun or keeping the peace.
When you don’t know about risk factors, you could be in a high risk marriage without realizing it. At least mine fields have warning signs. Your marriage may be at risk and you don’t even realize it.
You could be in deep waters and dark places without knowing the dangers. Ignorance of the risks won’t keep things from happening. In legal circles, ignorance of the law is no excuse, and likewise, ignorance of affair risk factors isn’t much of an excuse either.
Let me start with the risk factors for addictive behaviors. Not all affairs are connected with addictions, including sexual addictions, but many are. If you are blind to the addiction angle, you could be missing out on some important clues you need in dealing with affair recovery.
Risk factors for addictive behavior include family history, early family environment, adult trauma and mental illness.
If there’s a family history of affairs in your family, you’re at risk. If your family of origin was dysfunctional, there’s a risk. If you’ve experience traumas in your life, you’re at risk, even when you didn’t cause the trauma. If there is a history of mental illness, you’re at risk.
In your marriage, you may have discussed one or two of these, but if you’re like most couples, you haven’t addressed each of these risk factors. You may not even be aware of how strong each item is in your life or your spouses’ life.
This risk factors are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to identifying and dealing with high risks. These are the background risk factors. In addition, there are the coping and personality factors that you or your spouse bring to the situation, along with habits and situational items.
Many of these risk factors overlap with the high risk factors for affairs as well. You may have started recovering from the affair, yet if you haven’t dealt with the risk factors, the chances of Affair Relapse are high.
In dealing with them, you need plans for each of them that you are facing. If you are surprised at any of these risk factors, you’ll want to seriously consider purchasing the video on “Overcoming Affair Relapse“.
In the video, I go more in depth on the risk factors and ways of dealing with them. Remember the affair isn’t over until it’s over in their head and heart. Dealing with the risk factors is one way of ending the affair in their head and heart.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
