Have you ever considered what it would be like for you and your spouse to be ‘completely’ in love? Although you want to have a love like that, have you considered what it looks like?
Think about what your marriage would be like if each of you cared about each other, considered each other and shared with each other. The two of you could be united together in some serious ways.
That kind of bond isn’t easily broken.
When you have that kind of relationship, each of you practice responsible freedoms. You don’t mind giving your spouse freedoms, since you know they can handle it. You voluntarily limit what you do in the name of “LOVE”.
There’s no doubt in your heart that your spouse considers the impact of what they’re doing on you along with how you would feel about it.
Those are nice ideas, yet in real life, your spouse has shown that they can’t handle the freedoms they’ve been given. You give them freedom and they use it selfishly.
They may not even be able to share with you for more than a few moments at a time.
They may even want their way and disregard you in the process. In such situations, narcissism has run love out of your marriage.
Their selfish way of looking at things contributed to the affair and the damage that came with it. Had they considered how it would hurt you, they wouldn’t have done it.
When selfish thinking has taken over your marriage, it needs help. Things may eventually calm down, but that doesn’t mean that they’re healthy or make your marriage better.
Don’t mistake getting along for having a good marriage or loving each other. Those things happen more as a result of a healthy marriage. One of the essential parts of a good marriage and being completely in love with each other is trust.
When trust is lacking, it impacts your marriage. You don’t trust yourself or each other.
In my video “How Can I Trust You Again?”, I share ways of improving the trust in your marriage. Trust is one of those foundational things that contributes to a healthy marriage.
The two of you can learn how to have responsible freedom again, although it requires some changes and effort. In the video, you’ll be guided in starting the needed changes.
Your marriage can get better.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
