When my wife gets into our car, she wants it to go. She’s not as interested as I am in how it goes and what all is involved in making the car operate.
I on the other hand enjoy knowing trivia about how the engine was developed, understanding the suspension and various other items. I find the inner workings fascinating.
Not everyone is interested in what happens inside the car and its engine. They’re only interested in it doing what it’s supposed to do.
Likewise, when it comes to affairs some of you are only interested in making your marriage work. Understanding what happens in the cheater’s brain during the affair isn’t your stated top priority.
You may ask “What were you thinking?” in a rhetorical manner. You say you want to know, but not in terms of the technical specifics.
Others do want to know and understand what happens in the cheater’s brain. Today, I’ll give you a 10,000 foot overview of what happens.
First, the affair changes your brain. What changes are the pathways and connections inside your brain. The way the nerve cells and neurons talk to each other changes.
Whether or not you intended the changes to happen, they did. When you make changes like those that happen with affairs, it changes how you think and eventually how you behave.
You may be able to act the same due to your memory. This hides some of the changes. Eventually the truth will come out. How you think and consider things in your brain takes new directions.
Besides changes the brain pathways, there are also changes in the chemicals working in your brain. This amounts to a change in how it works and the ability of your brain to work. The longer the affair goes on, the more changes occur.
The changes in chemicals is what shows up as changes in moods, arousal along with how quickly they change.
Undoing those changes requires effort. Those changes don’t correct and fix themselves. You may think that you’re back to normal, but that’s far from the truth. Your spouse knows your different. You may be the only one who continues believing you’re still the same.
You can modify and redirect many of those changes. You can reprogram the functioning of your brain, in order to prevent affair situations from happening again.
Even though you don’t know what they were thinking when the affair happened, changes are needed before an affair happens again. Their brain may still be re-living an affair that you thought was over.
In my video on “Overcoming Affair Relapse”, I share techniques designed for making changes in how you think and do things. As long as you ignore the programming that happened with the affair, you’re vulnerable to that programming being activated again.
Take the step toward changing that programming today by downloading the video.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
