One of the new Congressional Representatives, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said “I think that there’s a lot of people more concerned about being precisely, factually, and semantically correct, than about being morally right.”
Her statement started me thinking. In a sudden “Aha!” moment, I realized that she captured a struggle common to many dealing with affairs. She put into words the struggle that many of you experience.
When one spouse is striving for being factually correct and the other focuses on being morally right, it creates a problem. Each of you are operating with different rules for coming up with “What’s really going on?”
When you start with different rules, each of you will reach different conclusions. Situations like this are what leaves you wondering “What is real?” It leaves you feeling very disoriented as if you were lost in a fog.
The Representative’s statement provides some understanding that can help. Each of you are operating by a different set of rules. As long as that continues, the two of you will lose what each is saying.
If you assume the position that one viewpoint is right and the other one is wrong, it’ll lead the both of you into conflict. In fighting it out, you may end up proving your point, yet losing the relationship you had.
The answer lies in improving the communication between the two of you. There are ways of navigating through the different realities. There is a way through the fog.
In the video, “We Need To Talk! Hurting People, Healing Questions” I guide you in ways of improving the communication between the two of you.
Rather than settling on an impasse, the two of you can move past that.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
