Over the years, I’ve developed a healthy caution when it comes to lawyers. Although they’re needed, there’s something about the profession that changes them.
They may start out with good intentions and desire for helping others, yet the profession changes them.
Even though I keep them at arm’s length, there have been times I’ve learned lessons from them. One lesson came in the form of a story about a snake. The irony of a lawyer telling a snake story doesn’t escape me.
In the story, a man comes across a homeless rattlesnake. Since it’s cold outside, and homeless, he takes pity on the poor helpless snake.
He picks it up and puts it in his truck with him. The little snake enjoys the warmth of the truck and curls up next to the man.
He proceeds raising it as a pet. The relationship grows to the point that they even do things together and go places with each other.
The snake eagerly looks forward to its time with the man. They bond over the activities they share. The snake even helps him around the house with unwanted mice and things.
One day when the man is minding his own business, the snake bites him. As he lay suffering from the effects of the bite, he asks the snake “Why did you do that? I raised you, gave you a home, loved and cared for you.”
The snake replied incredulously, “I’m a snake. That’s my nature. You knew that when you picked me up.”
The snake story reminds me that cheaters likewise have a nature. You still have to deal with that nature long after the affair ends.
They may even tell you that “I’m a man, what did you expect?” or something like that. At those times, the cheater is acting true to their nature and they want you to buy into their line of thinking.
It’s in their nature to tune into preening signals. It’s in their nature to pick up on attraction vibes. It’s their nature to be drawn to sexual acting out.
If you think that just because they aren’t seeing the lover that all is well, you’ve got a lot to learn about relapse prevention. The recovery isn’t over until their ‘nature’ changes as well as their behavior.
In the video on “Dealing with Affair Relapse” you’ll learn what to do. You’ll learn what are high risk situations, what the warning signs are along with ways of dealing with them.
Rather than being bit by the cheater when you’re not expecting it, because, “it’s their nature“, or “they have needs” you can do something about it.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
