After having your world shocked by an affair, one of the last things you may want to consider is your attitude. Although you do not want to consider it, you attitude is critically important in dealing with the affair and its aftermath. Having an attitude of ‘being out for blood’ and ‘paybacks’ often turns the cheater off. Rather than scaring the cheater back into your arms, a vindictive attitude pushes them away.
I understand that you have PLENTY of reasons for being angry, hurt, confused and sad. You have just been dealt a heaping portion of rejection that is hard for anyone to stomach. You have a right to be angry and hurt. Although you have good reasons to be upset, if you want reconciliation, you need to consider your attitude.
I am not asking you to put on ‘rose colored glasses’. Having a Pollyanna attitude where you act like everything is peaches and cream is also destructive. You need to be honest. You can be honest and still be working on a better attitude. One way to do that is to be thankful for what you still have. Having gratefulness for simple things can begin the transformation in attitude.
What you focus your attention on shapes your attitude. If your focus is constantly on the wrongs, it will only be a matter of time before bitterness takes over. In order to keep bitterness from finding a home in your heart, focus on what you can be thankful for.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
