When I saw the headline, “The Most Ruthless Ways Women have Dumped Their Cheating Men“, I was hooked. The title caught my attention. Although the term ‘Cheating men” should’ve alerted me to the bias, I missed it on the first read.
When husbands are referred to as ‘men’, it’s often a tell-tale sign that the writer is a member of the men-hater club or has some anti-traditional marriage views. Sure enough, husbands are referred to as “exes, horny hubbys, and the all encompassing ‘men'”. The term husband was only used once.
The language a writer uses reveals their values and thinking, especially when it comes to affairs and marriage. Their biases and agenda become clear in seeing the terms they use for husband, wife, marriage and the lover.
On reading the article, the author shared some interesting findings from a recent survey of 1,000 people. The survey results are worth you taking a look at.
67% of husbands are willing to give their wives a second chance after cheating.
32% of the husbands said they were willing to forgive their wives
Husbands take their wives back 82% of the time when she admits what she did and promises to stay with him.
When wives don’t admit to cheating, but are caught, in more than half (52%) of the cases, their marriage survives.
These are encouraging numbers. In more than half the cases, a marriage survives when the wife cheats on her husband. These marriages survive whether or not the husband forgives them, according to the study numbers.
With wives, it’s a different story.
52% of the wives are willing to stay with their husbands after his affair. Even though they are willing to stay, 54% expressed the inability to move on due to the affair being part of a pattern of infidelity.
When the husband admits to the affair and promises change and that he’ll stay with his wife, the odd of them getting back together is 68%. This means in 6 out of 10 cases, wives will take them back. If you had odd like that in Las Vegas, you could make some money. Keep in mind that the odds of you winning at blackjack are 42.2%. So you have better odds of your wife taking you back than winning at blackjack.
So…the odds are in your favor that your spouse will take you back, especially is you admit your wrongs.
In the Affair Recovery Survey, I found some similar results as well.
After presenting the survey results, the article proceeds talking about ways that women break up, presenting them as ruthless. Perhaps the author forgets that they have been hurt and often want their husbands to feel the depth of the hurt they experienced.
I don’t see the examples as ruthless. The word itself means ‘without pity, cruel and barbarous’. The examples given definitely don’t fall into the barbarous category. Referring to them as ruthless after their husbands betrayed them is unfair in my book.
The simple truth is that ‘Hurt people’ often ‘hurt people’. When you’re feeling pain, you often inflict pain. I guess the author doesn’t understand that. When the pain is deep, the only way to express it is deeply.
Best Regards,
Jeff
