There are some couples who believe that all they need to do in order to survive an affair is just love their spouse more. This notion sounds nice, yet working through hurts and pain takes more than romantic ideals. Love does go a long way, and it needs to be accompanied by honesty, good communication, encouragement, acceptance, and forgiveness in order to have its maximum impact. Very often, people try to make it thorough the emotional healing with a lot of optimistic hopes and warm feelings toward their spouse. This is like trying to take out tough stains with water and elbow grease. There are occasional reports of it occurring, but most people need the high power detergent to clean out the stains. They also need high power tools to facilitate the kind of healing that is needed.
I believe in love. I also believe that it needs to be backed up with actions, acts of sheer willpower, brutal honesty and compassionate willingness to forgive in order to make the relationship work. Many people ‘bail out’ when the pain, discomfort, discouragement or loneliness overwhelm their personal space. There is hope out there. There are many resources that can help walk you through the struggles. I hope you consider my “Affair Triage” program in considering your options. Since the sessions are recorded, you can replay them as you need them. Many times we need to hear something repeatedly before in sinks into our thick skulls.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
