One of the things I have struggled with while going through tough times are platitudes. While going through the tough times, I find myself surrounded by others thinking of me, telling me they are praying for me, or sending their love and good vibes.
The most recent example is when my father was going through his final weeks in the hospital. There were plenty of people telling me of their support.
What made a difference were those who showed me their support. The people who prayed with me, hugged me or brought me sandwiches.
I appreciate what they did more than they realize. I also realized it’s up to me to invite support and make myself available to the support of others.
As long as I remained aloof from the pain and others, they couldn’t support me if they wanted to. I had to receive them and their support.
This raises the question of whether or not you know how to ask and receive support. When you are going through recovery from an affair, you may not know how to ask for support.
You need the support of others and your spouse, yet not know how to invite it or ask for it. When you shut out others, you also cut yourself off from support.
Inviting support is an important skill. We all need it, yet most of you have never been taught how to do it or given yourself permission to do it.
When going through a crisis like affair recovery, you need the support of others. Although you need it, many of you stumble, put on your big girl pants and try doing it by yourself. Pride messed up the cheater and it can mess up your recovery.
Pride in doing it all by ‘myself’ is not enough. Pride and shame may be keeping you from getting the help you need. Find out the first two steps needed in getting the support you need as you go through affair recovery.
This is where joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle can help. There you can learn ways of asking for help along with practicing giving yourself permission to receive it.
You can get by with help from your friends, yet you have to invite their help into your life and heart.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
