One of the qualities of the holidays is that people remember previous Christmases in their lives. When your childhood and adult years are filled with good memories, it can be a wonderful time. When your spouse cheated on you at Christmas, it often brings back painful feelings. The associations you have with Christmas may include betrayal and lies rather than peace on earth and goodwill toward man. When you have gone through an affair on previous holidays, there is always the suspicion that it could happen again. You may find yourself on guard or edgy when your spouse comes home late or you open a Christmas card from someone you have never heard of. The kinds of surprises you have had in Christmas past is not the kind of surprise you want this Christmas. When children are involved, it really twists your emotions into a Gordian knot that is beyond you to know how to undo.
The Charles Dickens story about Christmas had Ebenezer Scrooge being haunted by the ghost of Christmas past. You know first hand how it feels to be haunted by empty feelings, disappointment and living on the edge when the holidays approach. You could probably do a remake of “A Christmas Carol” filled with more drama, back-stabbing and haunting fears than Dickens ever dreamed of. Such memories will fade when you choose not to dwell on them. When it comes to Christmas Past, infidelity and the Holidays, the best thing to do is to enjoy the moment and be hopeful about the future.
Best Wishes for Christmases that get better!
Jeff Murrah
