There is something comforting about simple things. Even something as simple as a light switch. The ones I like are either on or off. Radios were either on or off. Cars are either on or off.
I can understand when things are either on or off. Those in-between things get confusing real fast. They also complicate things.
You may have even been one of those people who attempted balancing the switch between on and off. Yes, it can be done, but it doesn’t work well that way, and neither do real-life situations.
The only light switch that required replacement in my home was one that was the in-between type. It’s replacement is the simple kind.
This is also why I have trouble with half-way affairs. The cheater either cheated or didn’t. When the half-way stuff enters the picture, it tangles things up.
Rather than tangle things up, when you are recovering from an affair, you need simple. Simple truths, simple tasks, and simple outcomes.
One simple truth is that you can’t isolate yourself and recover at the same time. You are either isolating or recovering from the affair.
Once again, you may be one who tries balancing between affair recovery and isolation, only to find yourself bouncing back and forth which amounts to not being in recovery consistently.
Isolating doesn’t remove burdens. Isolating doesn’t change things. Isolating allows the status quo to take over.
There are many ways of isolating. You can do it physically, emotionally, relationally or spiritually. Pity parties are one of the ways you can isolate yourself from others.
There’s a reason the recovery community jokingly refers to pity parties as “Pour me, pour me, pour me another drink“. With such pity parties, the payoff is getting an excuse to drink.
Isolating always has a payoff and it isn’t recovery. It’s just the opposite. It insures that you stay stuck in your pain.
When you stay isolated long enough, you can talk yourself into feeling powerless and helpless, which is typically followed by giving up. That state may be familiar to you, but it won’t bring healing.
The word shares its origins with the word for island. Isolating is akin to thinking of yourself as your own island. It is also cousin for the word insulate. Keep in mind that insulation around wires keeps them from making contact with other wires.
Isolation keeps you from connecting with others as well. Rather than giving into your fears and making that choice consider affair recovery as an option.
When you reach out and connect with others, like those in the recovery community at Restored Lifestyle, you are pulling yourself out of isolation and into recovery. It’s like the light switch with limited choices.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
