A gold nugget from John Gottman about Affairs

While growing up, one of the fashion trends was that of gold nugget jewelry. These were always fascinating  pieces of jewelry. The natural contours of gold nuggets made each one unique.

I still recall my step-father having one of those nugget rings. At the time, it fit in well with his being a part of cowboy culture.

Besides being unique the nuggets had a way of shining and gleaming with a raw power that other rings and jewelry didn’t have. Those wearing nugget jewelry made a statement to the world about their own one of a kind uniqueness.

Those pieces announced that the person had power, style and wealth.  They were a visible and portable status symbol. Family members recognized the nugget rings, belt buckles or necklaces owned within the family.

Even after the trend subsided, I recall hearing questions like “Whatever happened to dad’s gold nugget  ring?” Even their family members took notice of the gold nuggets.

The other day, I came across a shiny gold nugget observation from a John Gottman Seminar on adultery in Houston. Since John Gottman is one of the ‘experts’ on marriage and couples relationships, his findings are worth taking note of. (Therapists brag among themselves “I trained with JOHN GOTTMAN” as a way of saying they are competent in this area.)

At the seminar, Gottman shared some of the findings they uncovered about monogamous couples. What he and his wife found is that “monogamous couples live longer, stay healthier, recover from illness quicker and are generally wealthier”.

Like raw gold, you may read the statement and not realize it’s value. Since people don’t know what to look for, they miss the nuggets in the wild.

I call this insight ‘a gold nugget of wisdom’, since much like the jewelry, as you turn it another way, the light brings out new beauty or insights. In this case, the obverse is true as well.

Couples having affairs have shorter lives, are sicker, need more medical attention, take longer to recover from illnesses and experience greater financial problems.  Wow! That insight is stronger than truck driver coffee!

Think through that nugget of truth for a moment. Consider what it means for your marriage.

The affair can potentially take years off lives, bring poor health, longer recovery times from illnesses and greater financial burdens. This is a hefty dose of reality for consideration when facing temptations.

Let’s look at the gold nugget from another angle.

That also means that recovery from an affair has benefit after benefit. It has benefits you never considered before. You’ll restore years to your life potential, improve your health, gain financial security and improve your quality of life.

An affair brings HUGE consequences. The consequences include health, financial and length of lifetime. You can neutralize or totally cancel out those negative consequences in recovering from that affair.

This also means that if there’s been an affair in your marriage, you’ll want to address it and it’s consequences. The Affair Recovery Workshop gives you the tools that will change your marriage and your life.

I encourage you to click and download the workshop. The benefits of working through issues will far outweigh the effort exerted in saving your marriage.

Keeping It Real,

Jeff

 

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