When my favorite articles of clothing get stained it puts me in a dilemma. I know my wife Peggy tells me ‘get rid of it.‘
There’s something inside me that wants to continue enjoying the clothing in spite of the stain. The stain makes it embarrassing to wear in public, so I typically limit where I wear those items.
I also make it a point to try out various stain removers in hopes of finding something that works. Usually Peggy has already tried the usual methods.
Just looking at them in my closet produces mixed feelings. I like the clothes, yet each time I wear it stained, my dislike of it grows. This typically goes on until my dislike overtakes how much I like it. At that point, I ‘get rid of it.‘
My stain experiences have shown me some lessons about affairs as well. When your marriage is stained or tainted by an affair it’s embarrassing. Some of the worst stains are those of old affairs.
Yes, you and your spouse have made it through it, yet the stain of it still bothers you. Like the nagging stain on my clothes in the closet, the old affair bothers you each time you think about it.
Although you hid way back in your memory, it’s still there. It limits your ability to take pride in your marriage. It reminds you of what ‘could have been’ instead of what is.
Each time you think on the old relationship, it empowers it a little more. Even though it’s long gone, it still has power behind it.
The best way I’ve found for dealing with the stain of old affairs is forgiveness. The problem is that these days, people don’t know how to forgive. They know how to move on, how to hold a grudge or how to get revenge, but not how to forgive.
It’s rare that you even see a movie or television show where you even get an inkling of how to forgive. I’ve looked around and seen the dearth of good, solid forgiveness material. This is what inspired me to put together the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks”.
It explains what forgiveness is, and how to do it. It also sorts out the difference between forgiveness and repentance. Getting things like that mixed up in your head leads to unforgiveness.
Click the link and download your copy of the video today.
Start cleaning up the old stains in your marriage. You don’t have to be haunted by those old memories any longer.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
