One of the more unpleasant sensations I’ve face is the sensation of being trapped. There’s something about the experience for me that bends time and feels hopeless. It seems to last forever with little to no hope of escaping it.
Part of what makes it unpleasant for me is the loss of control and another part is the uncertainty about how much I’ll have to endure.
I see the world going on around me and I am isolated and trapped inside, wishing I was free from my bonds.
When trapped, you aren’t sure how long you’ll be that way. Even when you know it’s only for a limited time, it seems like it stretches on forever.
The physical experience of being trapped is terrifying enough. Things get really weird when you’re trapped by someone’s anger, past trauma or early life prisons.
Those other experience trap you inside of a prison with invisible walls. Although you don’t see them, you certainly feel them.
I thought about this when reading a quote by Richard P. Fitzgibbons who pointed out “without forgiveness spouses will remain psychological prisoners of past hurts and anger which they unconsciously misdirect into their marriage and family.”
His statement is sobering. Your past hurts keeps you trapped and inflicts hurts on your family in ways you never intended.
A phrase used by my dad was “hurt people hurt people.” It also sums up the idea about how you end up hurting others with your own hurts.
This means that forgiveness is not just for affairs any more. You need forgiveness in dealing with many early life hurts or disappointments from your spouse.
Although forgiveness is needed and talked about, few people really know how to do it effectively.They throw words at it, yet don’t tell you how to release all the tensions and emotions.
When they do forgive, it’s only temporary. They assume it’s about the ‘other person’ and what they did. The reality is that forgiveness begins inside you and deals with your reactions, not their actions.
Thinking that forgiveness is about others leads to misplaced forgiveness and you’re still left with your own hurts.
Your hurt ends up hurting others when you continue letting it fester. Isn’t it about time you freed yourself from the trap of your past?
In my video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks”, I share with you ways of putting forgiveness into action. Download it now and stop the pain from continuing on any longer.
Your hurts don’t have to define you any longer. There are ways of escaping them and no longer being defined by them.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
