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Like an earthquake, the emotional pain caused by infidelity shakes the very foundation of your being. The foundation of your marriage becomes uncertain. In the aftermath of an earthquake, there is the ‘fear’ that it could happen again, you just don’t trust the earth. The aftershocks leave you uncertain. Likewise pain and fears of the affair don’t stop when it is the affair is ‘over’.
Oftentimes, there are also tsunamis that hit your heart and drown you in tears and pain. Both partners ask themselves if there is hope for their marriage to survive.
Money problems, time and worries about the kids may all seem like hills compared to the mountainous problem called infidelity. You should understand that infidelity cuts through your foundation like an earthquake. Before you start running to a divorce lawyer, consider several things. You have to sort out your emotions and logically decide what you really want to do.
Get yourself some support. You cannot face this issue alone. The sense of betrayal, guilt, and confusion may rack your mental health. Without support, you can become very frail and who knows, you might break down. Your support group may be your friends or your family members as long as they are willing to listen and help you out.
Give yourself and your partner time and space. The affair is a stressful matter. Give yourself some time to think through things. When the going gets tough in a basketball game, the coach calls for a timeout. This time, however, you may also need a timeout.
Communicate. Don’t give yourself forever to settle your differences and your marital problems. After talking with your support group and spending some time for thinking, you should then communicate with your partner. You will have to make serious considerations on how to move forward in your marriage.
Divorce is not the only option available for your marriage. When you have to deal with the aftermath of the affair, you have to really communicate with each other and talk of the best move that you will do to save your marriage.
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