Do you play chess? If not, you’re missing out on some important life lessons. One is that the opening moves are the most important of the game.
What you do in those opening moves shapes the direction of where things will go. Those moves position you in either with either an upper hand or defensive position for the rest of the game. It’s true in chess and in real life.
In my life, there have been critical moments where decisions were made that shaped the direction of what happened for years after. Those critical moments where decisions were made and how they were handles shaped my position for many days afterwards.
The importance of how you handle the opening moves also applies to affairs and their discovery. What you do in those initial three hours shapes how the rest of recovery will go.
During those critical moments, what you say and do either open doors or slam them shut. Once shut, your opportunity to change it may not come again.
Those hours determine what happens for the next few years and the direction things will go.
What you say during those times also makes its greatest impact.Your comments, denials or name calling will continue echoing in your spouse’s mind for a long time. For this reason, you want to handle what happens in those three hours the best way possible.
In all likelihood, you’ve already passed the three hour mark. Although you missed some opportunities, you may still have some opportunity for recovering lost ground if you don’t waste your time.
The longer you wait in taking action, the more opportunities are lost. You may dismiss what you said as you just being angry, but your words can’t be taken back. This is why your opening moves are so critical to affair recovery.
In the video on Getting Past Affair Crisis, I address many of the areas needing your attention, especially in the early days of discovering the affair.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
