There’s a popular trend being promoted these days in schools, success magazines and media that threatens your marriage and family. One of the problems with this threat is that it looks beneficial on the surface.
Dangers that don’t look like dangers are some of the sneakiest kinds of threats. This one falls into the category of not looking like a danger.
The threat I’m referring to is that of ‘authenticity’. Schools, businesses and popular media promote ‘authenticity’ as a key to success and making you a better person.
The problem comes when authenticity is stressed over facts and truth. When it’s more important to be authentic than to be truthful you run into dangers.
This danger becomes clear when the situation you’re dealing with is an affair. When your spouse cheats on you, do you want them to be authentic or truthful?
Make no mistake being authentic and being truthful in terms of facts are totally different.Each will take you to a very different place.
A good liar is one who lies with sincerity. At that moment, they’re being fully authentic. They’re telling you what comes across as a heart-felt lie. They come across as ‘honest’, yet they are only honest about their feelings, NOT about facts or what they did.
Being truthful and dealing with facts is distinctly different. You want them to be truthful and value the facts about what happened. You want to know what did or did not happen instead of what their ‘intentions’ were or being authentic about their emotions.
You want to know whether or not they cheated. Being authentic at such a time only misleads and deceives.
Authenticity is now defined as ‘the quality of being authentic’. A cheater can be authentic without being factual these days. Confusing the two terms will mess you up and confuse any attempt at dealing with the affair.
The sneakiness is how the definitions are so close, yet become so far away from each other when used in hiding an affair. This is why I view authenticity as a sneaky danger and threat to your marriage, especially when it’s emphasized over facts.
Consider for example this quote about authenticity by Marcus Buckingham a noted business leader and speaker, “Authenticity is your most precious commodity as a leader.”
There’s also this quote by the actor Kevin Spacey, “Stay true to your brand and true to your voice and audiences will respond to that authenticity with enthusiasm and passion.”
Being authentic while avoiding the facts is deceitful. This kind of deceit damages trust in your marriage and home. Insist on being factual and honest rather than being authentic when dealing with affairs.
It will also help fwhen you put in place the techniques presented in the video “How Can I Trust You Again?” Order your copy of the video today. The sooner you start the sooner trust starts being rebuilt.
The damage to trust in your marriage won’t fix itself. If authenticity has damaged trust in your marriage, the time for action is now.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
