In the efforts to rationalize affairs, people often take a position that since no one was (physically) hurt by their actions, what’s the problem? Just because you don’t see broken bones and bruises does not mean that there was no hurt.
The hurt of an affair, like that of foundational problems is not seen with the eye, yet its effects are major. A cracked foundation often leads to other major problems.
Since the foundation is key to the structural strength of a house, the marriage relationship and the trust of its foundation is the key to the strength of the family. Just because you don’t see the hurt does not mean it isn’t there.
Bear in mind that some of you hide your hurt, so that others couldn’t see it if they wanted to.
Some cheaters are in such denial about the hurt, they don’t want to see any. Even when it’s in front of them, they choose not seeing it.
Affairs damage the trust of your relationship. It damages the spirit of oneness’ that is key to maintaining the relationship.
Affairs involve lies, which further damages the trust beyond the damage of the affair itself. Both the affair and the subsequent cover-up damage the relationship.
At the very basic level, the peace of mind that once existed in the relationship is destroyed. Once the peace of mind is gone, things are never quite the same between the couple. There is an uneasiness experienced when you are with your partner, until the issue is resolved.
The damage is there, even when it’s not seen.
If your marriage relationship has been damaged by an affair or accusations of an affair, you can repair the foundation by rebuilding the trust. In the video, “How Can I Trust You Again?” you can learn how to get the rebuilding started.
Best Regards,
Jeff
