Having grown up in Texas, during my childhood I didn’t have access to any ‘physical’ medieval castles. With typical childhood flair, I didn’t let that stop me and my friends from playing ‘King Arthur’.
Although adults viewed our shields as garbage can lids, to us, they were part of our armor. In our minds, those shields were emblazoned with all the signs and symbols associated with knights of the realm.
In addition to our shields, we armed ourselves with swords. Each yard surrounded with wooden privacy fences looked like castle walls to us. Behind each castle wall was a new adventure waiting to be had.
It wasn’t until later in life I finally visited one of those medieval castles ‘in person’. Although it took years before I saw one, they still were a huge part of my childhood experience.
I recalled all my medieval adventures on encountering a thought provoking quote. The quote was “Made-up memories can change you just as well as the arbitrary perceptions that you made up at the time about real world events.”
My made up memories of castles influenced me. In a similar manner your made up memories about the affair or your arbitrary assessment influence you as well.
Those initial assumptions shape your thinking. They mold your emotions. This is good if they are positive, yet if they are negative or delusional, they bring problems.
In the case of accusations of an affair when none happened, the results are bad. In the case of you having a wild image of the affair when the actual affair didn’t happen that way, it brings difficulties.
When your made up memories have no basis in reality, yet continue terrorizing you, somewhere in your mind, they are very real. This is why you need to test them before assuming they actually happened.
Those memories can’t just fade or be ignored when for you they were as real as if it happened. They are going to have to be talked about as well rather than just ridiculed and dismissed.
This is where dealing with affair trauma is important. The trauma, both what happened and what was assumed each need handling.
If you were a member of the Restored Lifestyle community, you’d have access to the video on Overcoming Affair Trauma as part of your membership. Recovering from the affair includes both recovery from the actual affair and the one that happened in your head.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
