There are a lot of things that you can do in order to restore your marriage and rebuild the foundation of your life together. These steps are simple enough to follow if you are committed. But if you are not, then probably, you should be taking a look at your heart and ask yourself how much do you love your spouse. If you do arrive at the answer that “yes, I love my spouse!”, then read on to understand how to mend your marriage after an affair.
1. Recognize the issues at stake. Infidelity is a complex concept, which could only be understood if you try to understand it by taking into account the different factors involved in your marriage. Try to evaluate your relationship and any factor that might have contributed to the affair.
2. Rebuild broken trust. Trite and clichés say that once trust is broken, it is nearly impossible to restore it. That may be true yet if you are willing to work it out and you show your love for each other, it is still possible to rebuild broken trust. How can that be done? By showing each other that you are trustworthy and fulfilling promises made every time.
3. Discuss about the affair openly. Some couples simply move out of each other’s lives after an affair. You need to ask yourself if you want that to happen. It would be better to let things out into the open and talk openly about the affair. This way, you learn more about each other and how you can rebuild your marriage.
4. Let time heal you both. Time can heal wounds, only if you cooperate and are willing to do your part for the healing. While giving yourselves time, you should both think about how you can rebuild your marriage after the affair.
5. Forgive your spouse. When you forgive your spouse, it does not mean that you are letting him off the hook. Forgiving means you no longer contemplate revenge and that you are freeing yourself from the clutches of negative and destructive emotions. This way, you pave the way for healing and reconciliation.
6. Forgive yourself. When you forgive yourself, you also affirm your self-esteem and your self-worth. By refusing to take the blame by yourself, you also participate in strengthening your own character.
7. Lastly, both of you should commit to your future together. As husband and wife, you are bound to have difficulties and challenges. But after the affair, you should commit to your future together and reaffirm your love for each other. This way, you can move hand in hand with each other and face the future without looking back to the instance of the affair.
