There are some questions about affairs that are unpleasant. Although part of me doesn’t enjoy the unpleasant aspect, I know it’s necessary.
One of those unpleasant questions is “Does infidelity lead to suicide?” Suicide is one of those topics that makes my stomach churn.
I also know that those kinds of questions need straight-forward answers. You need clear answers to questions, even the unpleasant ones.
Although I can’t say that infidelity causes suicide, I can say there’s definitely a connection between infidelity and suicidal ideation. In fact, from my survey of couples experiencing infidelity, I found that infidelity was a big factor in suicidal ideation.
In my opinion, it’s not a coincidence that affairs are so often followed by suicide or thoughts about suicide. Although 33% of those participating in my survey indicate that they experienced suicidal thoughts related to cheating, I think the true number is higher.
Shame and embarrassment make honest discussion of the topic challenging. They are reluctant to be honest about what they feel and think.
People who are experiencing infidelity and thoughts of suicide need help. They need someone to talk with, someone they can trust to listen and understand their pain. Finding a therapist or counselor is one option that may be helpful for you if this is your situation.
Counselors offer support, empathy, guidance, validation and other tools for coping when going through the emotional turmoil, shame and guilt that comes with cheating.
(If you can’t find a counselor, at least give them the number to the suicide hotline. It may not solve all their problems, but it can save their life.)
The root of the ideation may be in part because people feel shame and guilt after an affair is discovered; and as someone who has experienced both sides of this each side has it’s own shame and burdens, whether you are the cheater or the betrayed.
Some cheaters feel shame and guilt for hurting their partner, deceiving them or breaking up their family, whether they admit it or not. The pain remains even when it’s not talked about.
Some spouses of cheating husbands or wives also experience infidelity as a betrayal of trust which is painful to endure. You want someone to blame and put the pain on rather than carrying it yourself.
In some cases, cheating leads to a spouse’s suicide or attempted suicide as an act of revenge. It can also be seen as the ultimate betrayal and wanting their partner to feel the same pain they are experiencing. In other cases, infidelity is used by someone who wants out of their marriage
When suicidal thinking is with the betrayed or cheater, there’s a toxic mixture of guilt, blame, pain and the desire to run away from it all. I also know from the survey that you can make it past those dark thoughts.
The place to start removing those dark thoughts is with forgiveness. Keep in mind that it’s not about letting the cheater off the hook, the kind of forgiveness I’m talking about concerns you knowing effective ways of releasing the painful emotions and thoughts.
In the video “Forgiveness: Stop Pain, tear down the walls and remove the roadblocks” guides you in navigating your way through that kind of forgiveness. Knowing an effective way of removing the pain gets you started.
As more pain comes along, you can once again use the techniques you’ve learned so that you don’t have to carry it around.
Click and download your copy today and within minutes your journey past the pain starts. You can feel safe again and reduce the pain.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
