There comes a time after discovering the affair that you’ll decide that you want to recover from what happened. Whether you choose to repair your marriage or leave it, recovery is required. At the minimum, you need damage control.
Without recovery, there’s a high likelihood of returning to unhealthy patterns or finding the same kind of unhealthy relationships. You may even be one of those who find even sicker relationships which is going into the dark, deep end of the pool.
Recovery is required for getting on with life. If you want things to improve, recovery isn’t an option.
One of the things that keeps many betrayed spouses from recovering is medications. You or someone else may have persuaded you that the medication is needed.
Medication can help in terms of dealing with pain, bad memories or sleep. The best it can do is keep your symptoms at bay. What medication doesn’t do is push you in recovery from the affair.
It doesn’t improve your relationships, or give you initiative in making changes. They aren’t love potions that make you love them or them love you.
Think of medication as a life preserver that keeps you from drowning. Once you have it on, you are still adrift and overboard.
Recovery from the affair requires someone or something to push you in that direction. Without the push, you wouldn’t make any forward progress.
Medications mask your symptoms. They may even make your symptoms go away, but that doesn’t change your situation or your thinking.
Then there’s the whole issue of side effects. The reality is that there are no side effects, only effects of the medications. What you consider side effects are actually undesired effects of the medication.
Medications don’t push you. This is why you need something more in recovering from the affair. The longer you continue struggling with the pain, the more you need that extra push in the direction of recovery.
Your friends may be pushing you. If they care about you, they’ll support you in moving ahead. If your family cares, they’ll also encourage and push you as well.
If you want to make progress in recovery, you’re going to have to do something different. One thing you can do is order and apply the material in the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”. It guides you through what you need in starting that forward momentum.
Forward momentum happens when you start taking action. Recovery isn’t going to come to you. It requires you reaching out.
You need tools in handling relationships and yourself rather than meds that hide the symptoms. You need help in knowing what to do, how to do it and when to do it. It’s not just enough knowing what to do alone.
Once you start recovering, each day your thinking will grow clearer. You’ll be more decisive and no longer dread each day coming your way.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
