Modern society has often makes the dreadful mistake of putting emotions ahead of truth. This means that it is more important to avoid ‘hurting other’s feelings’ than speaking the plain truth. This practice is destructive when it comes to dealing with affairs. When you are dealing with skirt chasing whore mongers, you need to call it as you see it. When you are faced with slutty wives who go whoring around, you need to call it as you see it. When the lover does not want to be called a ‘home wrecker’, that is too bad. They did what they did. Rather than candy coat what happened in ‘nice’ terms, you need to think about it and talk about it in truthful terms.
Getting your marriage healthy requires that you deal with what is going on in an honest, straight forward manner. If you try to improve it based on not offending or hurting someones feelings, you will find yourself caught up in a merry-go-round existence for years to come. If what they did is perverted, wicked, sick, twisted, filthy, sinful, or abominable, you need to call it that way. Treating it as anything else is doing your marriage a dis-service. If the cheater is acting like an unnatural twisted pervert, tell them. You know in your gut what is right and now is the time that you need to listen to your gut rather than worry about hurting their feelings. Rather than cower to political correctness, you need to have honesty. Dancing around whether or not there are hurt feelings should be your last concern when you are fighting for your marriage and family. There is no place for political correctness in your bedroom or marriage.
When the cheater and their lover get you caught up in avoiding certain terms because it might hurt someone’s feelings, then you have already lost. At that point, the lover or the cheater’s emotions have been given the priority over TRUTH. When truth and speaking the truth becomes secondary, than any solution will only be for appearances. There will not be any lasting solution to restore your marriage. Loosing the battle over what to call people and their actions amounts to loosing the opening moves in a game of chess. If you want a marriage where there is truth and honesty, it will start by being honest about what is going on.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
