One of the challenges that you will have to face in moving past the affair is ‘fear’. Besides having the power to paralyze you, fear is also contagious. When you surround yourself with fearful people, it will only be a matter of time before you are fearful as well. Fear often focuses on ‘what may happen’ with all the potential contingencies. In most cases, your mind considers the worst case scenario contingencies. When you imagine the worst that can happen, it is only a matter of time before you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and out of control. The “What if’s” keep you worked up emotionally and mentally.
When you stay in a state of fearfulness long enough, you begin living a nightmare. Sleeplessness, heart racing, anxiety and uncontrolled thoughts have a way of taking all the joy out of your life.
As you move out of your comfort zone, there will be some uneasiness. This is natural. You are doing things and making changes that you never imagined doing. Although you are doing what is not familiar to you, it does not mean that you have to be paralyzed by your fears. There is always an uneasiness when you take actions that that you can not take back. Once you say and do what you need to, you can not go back. I understand that there is security in the familiar. There is also torment from the fear that keeps you paralyzed. Moving forward often involves taking risks. When you take risks, you are no longer ‘playing it safe’. Even such simple things as setting boundaries and learning to say ‘no’ involve taking risks.
In overcoming fear, the following steps are recommended:
1. Focus on taking one day at a time. Avoid trying to solve all of tomorrow’s problems today.
2. Do not spend excessive amounts of time watching TV, or drinking. Being intoxicated or in a passive mode will make the fear more intense.
3. Start some form of exercise program. You need to be moving about and getting your body active.
4. Learn to replace the fearfulness with thankfulness.
5. Take a deep breath before engaging in required tasks. The state of being fearful is often associated with improper breathing.
6. Avoid fearful people.
7. Instead of thinking about what you can not do, focus on what you can do.
These items will get you started on the process of overcoming fearfulness.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
