In dealing with couples, I am constantly amazed at the amount of ‘magical thinking’ that occurs. This magical thinking takes several forms. One is, If only I can explain my viewpoint, they will believe me and all will be fine. Another is all if only I can show them what a great lover I am and all will be well. There are other variants, but the mindset is the same. These people actually believe that the “If only..” things came to pass that all would be well. This is magical thinking. Like the Easter Bunny and the Great Pumpkin, these things are the building blocks of fantasy. Relationships need solid building blocks, not fantasies to provide a foundation to the relationship.
This same kind of magical thinking is also involved with the paramour, where the fantasies about where they will take the adulterer and how life will be different, etc., etc., . This is also magical thinking.
Finding real solutions begins with confronting the magical thinking that is associated with affairs.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
