I nearly feel out of my seat when I saw the Jessica Alba interview where she talked brazenly about her sexual romps and affairs. http://www.tvshark.com/read/?art=arc510
As part of her interview, she stated, “I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex,”
It’s this ‘brazen’ attitude like hers that makes affairs a complicated issue. There are those kind of women (and men) out there. I fully understand how betrayed spouses rant about the lover being a ‘slut’.
I’ve often categorized this kind of attitude as a ‘brazen hussie’ attitude. Whether the attitude shows up with the cheater or with the lover, it spells trouble for your marriage.
The interview includes a picture of her conveying ‘youthful innocence’. With that kind of attitude, she is far from innocent. In my mind, its part of the popular press selling the glamour of affairs without the guilt.
It’s more than ironic that when sexpots make statements like that they are publicized with attractive photos.
It would be quite a change if photos of women who are crack whores or totally worn out by the slut lifestyle instead. Even a picture of Alba without her make up would be more honest. At least the site, “She’s a Homewrecker” shows selfies of lovers without enhancements.
Scripture tells us in Proverbs that there are women who insist they have done nothing wrong (See Proverbs 30:20-Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth and wipeth her mouth and saith, I have done no wickedness). It would be hard to come up with a more perfect example.
It’s clear that Jessica does not want to view herself as a ‘slut’.
That’s why those in her position often hide behind the question, “How many people do you have to sleep with before they consider you a slut?” When you ask a question like that, you are playing games with numbers.
There are also a wide range of answers from ‘more than one a year’ to 100 if you’re a guy and 3 if your are female. Then there are the smart alec answers of ‘Slut is a word men use for women when men are too intimidated by the woman’s sexual experience. ‘
For men, if they can easily get into her pants, they often consider her a ‘slut’ whether in public or private. You can preface your experience with “Don’t think I’m a slut…” which does nothing more than trigger that thought. At that point, the man thinks she’s a slut.
Her very words gave an operational direction for him to consider her a slut.
Your mind ignores instructions like ‘don’t’ and only hears the other parts. So in those situations, the preface actually creates the reputation they don’t want created.
(I go more into directives and communication in my video, “Let’s Talk:Hurting People and Healing Questions“. It explains what not to say and why not to say such things along with what you do want to talk about.)
The word games surrounding what makes a person a slut are similar to those about when is it an affair. By redefining morality, they justify their own position.
Best Regards,
Jeff
