The simple answer to this question is “yes”. Scripture is filled with people whose past deeds have been forgiven. The deeper concerns with such a question is “Have you repented and changed?”.
Although forgiveness is available, it requires that you be willing to change. You can not expect forgiveness is you have not changed or have any intention of changing.
Your spouse will look at what you do, how you think and your attitude. If they do not see changes in any of those areas, the likelihood of forgiveness is minimal.
The next deep concern behind such a question concerns the effects of the affair. Although the act can be forgiven, you will still need to deal with the consequences.
Scripture points out that a person guilty of adultery obtains a stain that will never go away (See Proverbs 6:32-33: But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he tht doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonor shell he get: and his reproach shall not be wiped away).
Yes they’re still forgiven, yet they will need to come to grips with the consequences and fallout from their actions. Many times people banter around the word ‘forgiveness’, yet what they are seeking is a mixture of exoneration and pardon.
What gets forgiven is YOU. That is very different from saying what you did is a non-issue.
You want to be free from the affair and the associated burdens, even those related to the consequences. The possibility of that happening is non-existent.
You will still need to be addressing what you did and its effects. Forgiveness does not halt those discussions. It removes them taking revenge over those matters, but does not remove what happened.
If you’re one of those seeking forgiveness, it’s imperative you be honest with yourself about what you are seeking and what it means. Misusing words and confusing their meanings will leave your spouse feeling like you have lied to them again.
Affairs can be forgiven, the consequences can not. Forgiveness carries with it the responsibility of changing you behaviors and attitudes.
I address some the areas where change and responsibility are needed in the video “Help for the Cheater: The Road to Recovery“, which covers disclosure, the specific areas where you need to assume responsibility and some of the changes that will likely happen.
Best Regards,
Jeff
