Although I found statistics classes boring at times when I took them, as the years go by, my feelings are a love-hate type. I love statistics when they shed light on behaviors I’ve been studying. I hate them when they’re misused in manipulating people.
This love-hate relationship has led me to conduct surveys and dig deeper into affair statistics reported by ‘experts’ in order to discover what’s really being said. One lesson I’ve learned is that you have to consider the source behind statistics.
One statistic I recently came across was that 80% of unfaithful spouses meet their AP at work. That’s a big number and worth taking a closer look into.
First, this number alerts you to the workplace being a hotspot for affairs. If you suspect an affair, one of the first places to check is the workplace. Chances are the affair started at the workplace rather than the local bar, church, softball league, or PTA.
This also means that late nights at work or travel for work need your close scrutiny. These are situations where there are vulnerabilities. It also means that when they happen a lot, it raises red flags. Asking that your spouse call you or let you know about these situations is not asking too much.
Second, this statistic shows that most of the time it’s not a random stranger. It’s someone you and your spouse know from work. This is important because it means that if you’re suspecting an affair and the person your spouse is spending extra time with works in their office or firm, there may be more going on than just friendship happening.
It also means that when the phone rings at night and your spouse tells you it’s a call from work, its worth looking into. Using the ‘work’ excuse is a common way of throwing off suspicion. When such a large number of affairs start at the workplace, it should be the first place you look rather than the last.
The statistic also tells me that many cheaters hook up with those available to them. Working closely with people increases the possibility of affairs happening. They didn’t go to work looking for a hookup. The hook-up developed as they worked together.
Let’s dig a little deeper. In some marriages, your spouse dresses better for work than they do for you. They’re at their best in the workplace. The workplace gets their full attention and their attractiveness is at its’ peak. It’s no wonder that there’s a higher risk of affairs in that location.
At this point, there’s already been an affair. This means your best option is preventing affair relapse. When your spouse goes back to the environment where the affair happened, there’s a risk of relapse.
This means steps are needed in reducing the risk of Affair Relapse. In order to reduce those risks, you need to know what they are. This means you’ll need an understanding of what your spouse does and the temptations they encounter in the workplace.
In the video, “Overcoming Affair Relapse“, I share ways of identifying the dangers along with what you can do in dealing with them.
You’re not without options. There are things you can do. Click and download your copy of the video today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
