One of the most enticing things in casinos is the slot machines. They are intentionally made attractive in order to lure you toward them. The sounds and lights capture your attention along with the lust of possibly winning. A type of ‘casino madness’ takes over.
I know from experience that on walking into a casino, the distinctive sound of the machines calls out. Once in front of the machine, the thrilling hope you feel while watching the wheels turn. I’ve even found myself talking to the machine, saying “Come On, Come On, Come On” as if the inanimate object could hear me. Occasionally, I tell it my reason for wanting it to do its magic, saying “Daddy needs his new Corvette” or “Daddy wants a trip to Paris”.
Right from the moment you step up to the machine, the odds are against you. The machine is programmed to take more from you than it ever gives back. Even though you know the odds are against you, the excitement along with lights and sounds keep you going. You hang in there hoping that it just may ‘pay out’. The possibility of what ‘might’ happen shouts at you, drowning out that small voice of common sense inside.
In a similar way, cheaters ‘play the odds’ with affairs. Even though the odds of any success are against them, they do it anyway. The small voice of their rational mind has been turned off when they are listening to the lust of a possible win. The excitement of lights, fireworks and sounds drown out good judgment.
Unfortunately, cheaters also realize that this ‘game of odds’ never works out in the long run. It does not matter whether you are playing slot machines or having an affair – the result is always the same. In the end, it costs more than you ever get back. The consequences far outweigh any pleasure or reward.
The odds are not in favor of the affair. Over 90% of affairs end with the relationship not becoming permanent them. Most affairs end before 18 months, proving that they aren’t permanent and don’t last.
The real odds are in favor of your marriage. Working on your marriage is surer than any Las Vegas slot machine. The likelihood of the two of you working things out after an affair is in your favor. Working on your marriage also has less risk than any affair.
So, why do so many couples give up on their marriage after an affair?
Perhaps it’s a form of ‘casino madness’ for affairs. The distraction of sounds and flashing lights along with the lying promise of a new and exciting potential takes over. Perhaps it’s the deceptive sounds of divorce lawyers and trouble-seeking friends counseling you. Perhaps its a matter of being stunned and unsure of what to do.
That’s why I put together the Affair Recovery Workshop. I’ve seen the odds of the affair versus divorce versus your marriage, and your working on your marriage wins. I know that ‘affair madness’ is temporary.
You can instead have confidence and a solid plan for recovering from the affair. The obstacles and distractions keeping you from the marriage you want can be removed.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
