Do you have one of those cars with the irritating buzzer sound? Although they are intended as a reminder for when you leave your lights on or the door is opened, over time, they malfunction.
The only irritant worse for me in cars is the hassle producing start-stop feature.
When the buzzer on our car began malfunctioning, I thought it would be a good idea to fix it. The buzzer began going off and not shutting off, until the car was off. I began a diligent search for the source of the bad connection that kept the buzzer going.
No matter how many times I attempted resetting the car and locating the source of the problem, the buzzer continued going off. Anytime I plugged it in, it began its irritating chorus. At that point, I concluded that the buzzer itself is the problem. It was promptly removed and things have been peaceful ever since.
That episode reminds me how cheaters often reconnect with the lover and it triggers the whole affair all over again. The emotions, the drama, the tension all come back. Often all it takes is just making contact with the lover. That contact may happen with a text, a facebook post or a tweet.
In many ways, the other man or woman looks for any excuse to re-insert themselves into the cheater’s life. They know that all it takes is a spark to get things going again. One message or tweet triggers the emotions and thoughts in the cheater’s brain all over again.
In a matter of moment, the whole thing that was stopped, now starts all over again. The cheater forgets the pain, the struggles, the guilt. With the mere hope of chasing after the buzz of romance, they jump back into the relationship.
All it takes is a simple reconnect and the affair starts up right where it left off. Like wires that reactivate a circuit, the reconnect reactivates the affair circuit in their brain.
The reconnect that’s hardest to locate is when the cheater reconnects with the fantasy of the lover in their mind. Yes, even a reconnect with that version of the lover triggers strong reactions.
This is why in my material I point out “The affair isn’t over when the relationship ends”. Things aren’t over until the lover is erased from the cheater mind and heart.
The danger of a reconnection is that once it happens, like me plugging in the buzzer, the irritations begin going again. You may be tempted giving up on your spouse, but that would be throwing away your marriage over something that can be fixed.
Instead, what you need is a good, solid, relapse prevention plan. You and your spouse need a solid plan for handling the temptation of reconnecting. They can’t handle reconnection and you don’t want it. It’s in both of your best interests to prevent reconnection.
The video, ‘Overcoming Affair Relapse” guides you in handling high risk situations along with triggers and other dangers, like reconnection. It also helps you put together a Relapse Prevention Plan that keeps the dangers in check.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
