In your outrage over the cheater’s affair, you may assume that the cheater was not thinking. The assumption that they were not thinking would be a false one. In many cases, the cheater has put a great deal of thought into what they were doing. The fantasizing, planning and execution of an affair takes a great deal of thinking. The problem is not with that they were ‘not thinking’. In many cases, the issue is rather a matter of priorities. They put their own selfish pleasure ahead of doing what was right.
Rather than consider the impact on the family, they were thinking about themselves. Self-focus is often the start of bad behavior. The mantra of ‘What’s in in for me?’ plants the seeds of many difficulties. When the cheater has the wrong focus, they make bad choices. In terms of their thinking, they may have been totally rational and solved the myriad of problems presented by the affair. Their thinking was good, their focus and priorities were off.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
Remember, my e-book on trust is now available at www.SurviveYourPartnersAffair.com/resources
One Response
OH This is SO ‘right ‘ on!
When someone ‘finds’ another person with the skills and the ability AND the WILLINGNESS to plan a treasonous arrangement like this is is amazing how much ease is involved with arranging EVERYONE’S life for them …the spouse, the children, the extended family ,friend and even business associates.
If everyone who has been ‘managed’ became aware of it it is scary how the cheaters might have to deal with it all.
Because of some of the fall out that would be the RUIN of families dependent upon the income of the cheater this is not always possible…which only complicates things…still trying to come to terms with this aspect.
When public figures such as a President seems to get a ‘pass’ on his infidelity is does not help…Leaders who cheat only seem to give others the idea that it is not just doable but part of the glamorous ‘extras’ of being above everyone else
There is a story in the Bible about Eli’s sons. Because he put them in positions of priesthood their influence was causing the people to become lax ….Eli would not correct the problem and the Lord dealt with taking them OUT of that prominent position of influence…they died…Eli died and the wife of one of his sons died in childbirth’
Positions of influence are very serious indeed and God will not be mocked forever….but mercy allows time for repentance in these times
Hope people turn soon!