Treating everyone the same is an idea that sounds good in theory. This idea fails when it comes to your family and marriage. It is one thing when some politician cheats or you read a news story about someone across town who was having an adulterous affair. You may even be able to look at their situations with some objectivity. But, when it comes to your spouse cheating, or your parents or daughter/son-in-law cheating, you loose your objectivity. When such matters hit home, you take it personally and react to it personally. There is no objectivity when it is your spouse who is cheating.
Not only are your reactions different, how you want to treat the cheater and their lover are different as well. You may have been objective in how you thought the politician, community leader or sports figure should handle matters. When it is your spouse, treating them the same way as you dealt with other situations does not work. It does not resolve anything.
The bottom line is this, infidelity is a serious matter. Not only is it serious, it is an issue that one size answers do not fit every situation. The idea of treating all the infidels the same and their behaviors the same does not work. When your brother sleeps with your wife, or your aunt sleeps with your son, it is not the same as when a husband has a one night stand on an out of town trip. An affair that has gone on for years, covered in lies is not the same as someone who was druggged and raped by a stranger. An uncle who always gropes you and tried to sleep with every female in the family is not the same as a drunk who comes on to you in a bar. Social justice and equality for all do not have good answers when it comes to infidelities. The idea sounds good in theory, yet does not provide answers or comfort to you when you are in the middle of such the quagmire of infidelity.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
